to sing or ......... ?

It's Sunday.

And I'm off work, it's dull, threatening to rain and we're singing today.

I've never felt like singing less. The band are on at a pub in Gateshead, it has an open stage at the side of the pub. They have a lot of start up bands on and solo singers. It's a good set up, you would think I'd be over the moon, but I'm not.

One of the problems is I'm working on a song 'I will wait' Mumford and I want to sing it, but it's not quite ready. It's been a struggle, the words are ................. unusual. Random thoughts put in a song. Plus it's one of those songs that could be done a thousands ways ( Summer Time, porgy & Bess comes to mind). So if I go I know I'll get in the mood, I know I'll want to sing the song, I know I'm going to ................... mess it up.
 So, I'm apprehensive. One other factor in all this, I've not been working on my voice, I know that sounds strange. 

I'm a gravelly sort of singer, it works well sometimes, other times it's just not right. I know that's down to confidence, and I'm obviously low on that at the moment. 

I'm going to run through the song, ............. I may change my mind at the last minute. I may just jump up and sing my old songs, song I feel comfortable with. It is a new audience so they have never heard my old stuff, .......................... yes I can feel my old songs coming on. I feeling a bit better. ................................. not much , but a bit better.

It's just gone 11.45 on Sunday 29 June 2014. I'm off to do some ironing and worrying.

Good day.