A quicky.

Hey, sorry, I've not really been up to writing much.

I'm a bit hung up about my Boss. he reads everyone's ................ FB & Twitter. So it really puts me off.

I work at a bus depot with about 280 drivers. 

I remember when I walked into the depot for an interview and I sat down and he said 'Your a very interesting person' ............... ????

So anyway after I got through the training program and started to listen to other drivers I overheard someone say ............... 'He watches peoples profiles'. We are not allowed to mention our jobs on FB or twitter. 

So now I feel inhibited. 

It's the one reason I needed to find out if I could block a certain country. You can't as it happens.

So, a very quick update.

The house next door is still up for sale. I've changed my estate agent. The first one only sent one viewer in all this time. 

The new one will be coming to take all the photo's and stuff soon.

I'm still driving buses and it's getting much easier. Not that the traffic has died down or the job gets any easier but I'm getting better at handling things. 

Heavy traffic, high turn over of passengers, very strict operating rules, driving a bus that has 88 seats and 14 standing. It can be tough.

One of the really big things, I have to drive for 5 hours at a spell with no toilet, that's tough, you have to think very carefully about what you drink.

So, I'm coming to terms with it all. I've been there a year now. 

My golf friends, singing friends, football friends have got used to me not being there but I have not. 

I'm due at work in about 20 minutes so I'm off.

10.05 Wednesday 30 Oct 2014.

banking, ..... Hmmff.

On Line banking.

What a faff. 

I had to send a bit of money to my daughters bank................... you know the story.

'Dad, I need some money in my bank before tomorrow.....................'

She doesn't tell me that she had closed her old account, so I go online, ............ where I might add I don't like going online to do banking.............. just so vulnerable, or so it seems. The bank obviously knew that her old account was closed, but it told me that the amount was to high ............ ?? I dropped it a bit .................... to high, I dropped it to £1 ................ yes a quid. To high. 

I phoned the daughter. 'Dad I changed my account' ............ Oh good.

New details ....................... fine. 

The house next door has been put on the market.

I'm getting rid of it, it's just to much hassle, rent not paid on time, house left in a state every time some one moves out. I must admit the last tenant did leave it quite clean. 

Still I've had enough, it's going.

So in England we get estate agents to sell for us. The board goes up outside the next day, even sooner some times. Not this bunch. 3 days and they don't even have the board up. 

I'll keep you informed.

It's Ronnie's funeral on Wednesday. I've taken the two days off, I think we will still be singing on Thursday morning. If not I'll play golf.

So, it's my early week and it's nearly 12 o'clock so I better try and get some sleep, not that I'm a bad sleeper, it's just that I'm a night owl. I come awake at night. 

Good night. 

Good bye Ronnie.

Farewell.

So, for the second time this year I'm going to a funeral of a friend.

First it was Howard, he was singing with us on December 14th 2013. He looked fine, although he had told someone that night he had been to see the doctor, he died on the 1st January. 

Now Ronnie has gone, not to big of a surprise because he's been fighting a brain tumour for over a year, but he was only 57.

He was actually the person who started our singers night. 

He cajoled us into going down to ..... first of all the Tap & Spile ( a pub) he did most of the singing, we slowly learnt a few more songs. The Tap & Spile closed down to make way for a new supermarket. We moved to the Blue Bell, down in Jesmond Dene, the owned sold up and the new owner made us feel unwelcome. 

Eventually we moved to the Cumberland Arms, Byker. That's where we've been for the last 10 years or so.

The Cumberland Arms has always been a live music pub. 

Different nights see's different types of music. Plus there is a stage on the top floor and they have loads of different things on, like 'The Funky Butt club' ( I think it's dancing to a certain sort of music, I don't know I've never been up).

On Wednesday nights it's fiddle players, about 20 really good fiddle players doing their thing, no singing at all. On the first Sunday of the month they have an open mike night. Singers from all over Newcastle come and sing ( two songs then you're off), I do sing up there sometimes but it's not my favorite format, I prefer to sit downstairs and sing all night.

So, it was Ronnie that dragged us kicking and screaming down to the .......... Cumby (as we call it). Now there can be as many as 20 musicians playing, not much room for the rest but those that do like it. 

His funeral is on Wednesday 30, I've managed to get the Wednesday & the Thursday off. I do know it will go on until the pub closes. So 9 hours, ........... of drinking, singing and drinking. 
Yes I will need the next day off. 
It's just the way we do it here, ............. the longer we drink, the more respect .......... it appears to be given. 
Does that make sense? It does to us. You can ponder that, which brings up the question? 
Why do I never get any mail from you lot, I'm sure I must have angered or amused one of you?
My email is paulfenlon@blueyonder.co.uk            Poke me. 

Last Thing.

I'm going to have another go at internet dating, I'll change my ways. I'll be 100% truthful ( I hope) I'll show the lot, so they are not disappointed when I show up for a date ( I'm always nervous, so I make a tit of myself). 

I'll keep you informed, you ................ write to me. In English please.

It's nearly 3 in the morning, so better go to bed, I'm off tomorrow and it was my late week tonight (I finished at 23.55) (yes I know my English grammar is wrong).

Friday 25 July 2014.

Good night. 

Sorry,...............

Hey, I'm sorry but I've been away. I do have a lot to tell you. Lots and lots happened over the last few weeks. 

But I need some time to write.

This computer makes it hard, I have to learn so much and I can't be bothered. 

But as usual I promise to write more and I don't. Thanks for looking in every now and again. 

I may be finishing work soon .............. or at least cutting down on the number of shift that I do. I'm going to see the boss soon, tell him what I want............ see what he says.

One of the things I want to do is block people from England reading this. No other reason than it maybe used against me, someone I know. I would prefer it if only people who don't know me reads it. Does that make sense? 

So I'll look into blocking .................. who reads................ later of course. 

I think my boss reads everyone's on line stuff. On my first interview he said ............ 'Your a very interesting person' .................... ? not that I am, but it was a bit disconcerting. 

So, I've been on holiday, ........... long story. The tenant has moved out, ........... another long story. One of my music buddies has passed away. ................ lots more. So................. I'm going to try. 

..................... I will. 

Ten past one in the morning, I'm on a late tomorrow so having a lie in. 24 July 2014.

I think it's my Dads birthday (not that he's still alive)

to sing or ......... ?

It's Sunday.

And I'm off work, it's dull, threatening to rain and we're singing today.

I've never felt like singing less. The band are on at a pub in Gateshead, it has an open stage at the side of the pub. They have a lot of start up bands on and solo singers. It's a good set up, you would think I'd be over the moon, but I'm not.

One of the problems is I'm working on a song 'I will wait' Mumford and I want to sing it, but it's not quite ready. It's been a struggle, the words are ................. unusual. Random thoughts put in a song. Plus it's one of those songs that could be done a thousands ways ( Summer Time, porgy & Bess comes to mind). So if I go I know I'll get in the mood, I know I'll want to sing the song, I know I'm going to ................... mess it up.
 So, I'm apprehensive. One other factor in all this, I've not been working on my voice, I know that sounds strange. 

I'm a gravelly sort of singer, it works well sometimes, other times it's just not right. I know that's down to confidence, and I'm obviously low on that at the moment. 

I'm going to run through the song, ............. I may change my mind at the last minute. I may just jump up and sing my old songs, song I feel comfortable with. It is a new audience so they have never heard my old stuff, .......................... yes I can feel my old songs coming on. I feeling a bit better. ................................. not much , but a bit better.

It's just gone 11.45 on Sunday 29 June 2014. I'm off to do some ironing and worrying.

Good day.

Singing at the Monument.

Some days.

What a funny day.

We had booked a badminton court, and we like to miss the first run of pensioners (who have free travel from 9.30) So we booked 11 o'clock. 

I caught a bus straight away, so was just a little early. M (the banjo, guitarist from the band) rolled up at ten to 11. He was carrying his banjo and guitar. 

The band would be busking at 12.30 at the monument in Newcastle. It's a great place to sit and watch busker, people all relaxing. The weather has been fantastic this year., not much rain with plenty of sunshine. Very rare in Newcastle.

I used to be in the band, but thing happen, they had more time ( I was the only one working, but there was more reasons than that). We still sing every Sunday night in The Cumberland Arms, but it's more relaxed. People sing what they want, it does follow a pattern but it's not set in stone.

That suits me, if I want to sing I will, if I don't, ..................well get another drink in.

So, after the badminton, .............. just quickly run over the badminton, we stopped playing about 3 years ago, because of leg injuries, I had a snapped tendon, then a year later I broke my heal in a bad fall. M had a torn ligament, about 8 weeks ago we started again, at first we were rusty, a bit out of sorts. As the weeks have gone on, we've improved so much, we both will never be as fit as we once were, but we are really making each other run now. Long .......... bitter rallies, which ends up with us laughing at how good it was to win 'That point'.

I dressed first, I'm not sure why it takes him so long, maybe it's my army training. I went outside. The badminton courts are build into the shopping area which in turn overlooks the Monument in Newcastle. M, took his time, the rest of the band arrived, ever a friend who is not part of the band ( but does the Sunday stuff with us) rolled up. 

'Did I want to do the Monkey song?'......................... I wanna be like you, Jungle book.

Well not really, it's a song that needs .................. a closed space, there are a lot of grunts, and half said things in which makes it interesting. 

So I did a few songs ...................... not very well, I was out of sorts, I hold a mandoline, or a guitar. I did not know what to do with my hands............. ? never had to think about it before.

So, I underperformed. Not good. I wont be asked again.

Well they have asked me to sing on Sunday, it's a venue over the water ( I never go over the water, Gateshead, another city.................... no, not over the water) I may go.

It's Wednesday, I normally meet Malcolm on Tuesday, but things got in the way, so we're meeting tonight. It's 4 minutes past eight and the bus is at 8.12.

So, must dash.

Wednesday 25 June, 2014.

Not much happening.

Is life ever simple.

I'm sure it was for me. 

I remember long periods of my life when it was easy, everything went to plan.

 I set goals and achieved them.

Maybe I'll get back to things working out. It's not that everything is going wrong all the time. Things are looking up.

I think a quick succession of big changes have not been helpful. I've had a marriage dissolved, my business became unprofitable, I moved house twice in a few years. I got a job, something I had not had for 25 years.

 All things that unsettle you. Slowly I'm getting used to the pace of my job. I drive buses, I drive on one of the busiest route in the country. Often offloading 90 passengers in the middle of my route and loading up with 90 at the same stop. It's relentless. I'm learning to cope with running late, making time up. I also drive through the part of Newcastle that has a high.................... none English population. 

They drive differently from us. They change their mind ................ mid flow, stop unexpectedly, they turn right when they have been indicating to go left. 

Once the car (on a dark damp evening) in front of me stopped for no reason, the window came down and a camera came out of the drivers window, she took pictures of the Hindu Temple. I stood and waited with my full load of passengers, she then did a 6 point turn holding all the traffic up. 

On a really busy street, in a really busy part of town there is a shop, it's on both sides of the road, it's more like a whole sales of fruit and veg, with whole pallets of bottles of soft drinks, pallets of onions, potatoes, cabbages. It's mayhem. People run from one side of the road to another, cars are parked at bad angles, so they can load up their cars with produce. I do think that most restaurants and curry houses get their stuff from here. It's a good business, it's just in the wrong place.

So, I'm getting used to it. Well it's sink or swim.

I've not been out for a game of golf recently, too much other stuff going on, but I am getting a game of badminton once a week. I'm worried about getting a bus mans belly. I know it sound daft but I can feel myself putting on weight. I am eating more, so I do need to do some exercise. 

So, as you may have gathered there is not much going on, just mundane bumbling along.

It's just before 1am, it's my late week so I start work tomorrow at 3pm.

Tuesday 24 June 2014. 

Good night.